I am Strong; Therefore, I Don’t Cry: Strong Black Women” Suffering From Mental Illness.

It wasn’t until I was 19 years old when I realized that I suffered from anxiety and depression. I remember feeling stressed, feeling like I was alone, and crying every night in my dorm room. I chose to keep this a secret from my family and friends because I was afraid of how they would react.

For many years, there has been a stigma and prejudice toward mental health issues in the black communities, especially against black women, many people misunderstand what it really means to have a mental illness or choose to avoid the topic. Those who suffer from major depression, anxiety, posttraumatic stress disorder, or any other illness chose not to seek help because of the shame and stigma associated with such conditions. Where did this stigma originate?

According to a blog called Stigma and The Strong Black Woman, “black women are taught that we have inborn abilities to face struggle and hardship without showing wear mentally or physically creating the “Strong Black Woman” image. While this may be a positive image, it can also be problematic because of its emphasis on caring for others and attaching the stigma of failure to any woman who exposes her mental health status attests that the Black woman ‘is the mule of the world.’”

“Black women have to keep their discrepant feelings out of view. Anger, fear, uncertainty and need are all emotions that various women claimed were inappropriate for them to express if they were to still be recognized by their communities as acceptable and strong Black women,” stated in a study called Shifting: Shifting: The Double Lives of Black Women in America. She implies that the depression is a form of weakness in the black community and many Black women suffering from depression are muted because it directly challenges the tenets of strength, the bedrock of Black women’s identity. By they’re coping with crippling fear and anxiety: if they say what they think or act the way that comes naturally, they will be rejected, excluded, even hated. From my personal experience growing up with anxiety and depression, I have been told that I had “white-girl break down” or that I was being “weak”. I was told that black women can’t have anxiety and depression because of the many barriers we have faced. When hearing these things, it made me feel even worse about my condition.

I became ashamed of who I was because I felt that I did not meet the standards of being a “strong black woman.”. In the study, Charisse creates the Sisterella theory, the black Cinderella character; she honors others but denies herself. She achieves in her own right—indeed, she may overachieve—yet she works tirelessly, sometimes masochistically, to promote, protect, and appease others. She is trying so hard to be what others want and needs that she has lost control of the shifting process. Her character describes a phenomenon among African American women that has been too often disregarded. The very selflessness that characterizes Sisterella may lead clinicians and researchers to overlook the prevalence of depression in Black women.

Sisterella complex manifests into forms of depression in Black women, they try to cope with depressive feelings by overeating, spending valuable time and resources trying to improve their physical appearance, by wasting money on cosmetic and materialistic thing. Eventually, when all things fail, these women crack. I was Sisterella, the more I felt anxious, the more I try to hide it and put my mask on to please the people around me. However, no matter what I did or how much I tried to please others I still felt like I wasn’t good enough, that I wasn’t worthy of existing.

At the age of 20 years-old, I had reached my breaking point. I had my first panic attack and honestly, that was one of the scariest things that I have ever experience. I remember my feeling like I couldn’t move or speak; my vision became blurry, my chest tighten, and I started to hyperventilate. My mother found me and tried to calm me down, but I just started to cry hysterically. I told her that I didn’t want to be crazy, I had let myself get to this point because I didn’t seek help. I didn’t want help because I allowed my fears to control me. After that day, I started to go to therapy and it was the best decision I ever made. Instead of taking medication, I decided I wanted to work through and deal with my depression. My therapist taught me that having anxiety and depression did not make me crazy or weak; in fact, I became stronger because I made the first step to working through it.

I tell my story because I want others to know that having a mental condition does not make you any less of a “strong black woman.” It is important to read and understand black women mental health. There is a misrepresentation of what makes a black woman strong; since the discussion of mental health is left out, it becomes damaging to black women, which results in issues of mental and physical health. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, “one in 5 people are affected by mental illness. African Americans sometimes experience more severe forms of mental health conditions due to unmet needs and other barriers. According to a study by the Health and Human Services Office of Minority Health, African Americans are 20% more likely to experience serious mental health problems than the general population. Common mental health disorders among African Americans include Major depression, Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), Suicide, and Posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Don’t let fear of what others may think of you, prevent you or a loved one from seeking help. Please look for assistance and do some research as well, I will list some books and studies that I found to be helpful.

Book and Study recommendations:

Applying Resistance Theory to Depression in Black by Agnes Martin

Listening Past the Lies that Make Us Sick: A Voice-Centered Analysis of Strength and Depression among Black Women by Tamara Beauboeuf-Lafontant

Shifting: The Double Lives of Black Women in America by Charisse Jones

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Link:https://bettermadesite.wordpress.com/2017/07/06/i-am-strong-therefore-i-dont-cry-strong-black-women-suffering-from-mental-illness/